Best Friends Dont Rip Each Others Hearts out

Shows Cancelled

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 16:41:07 GMT

Hey Guys its TJ Gentile from FTC, We Regret to inform all the fans that were looking foward to the Stafford/Johnconnor show as much as we did, that we are sorry but we have to cancel it due to unfortunite time difficulites with another show we are playing that day called October Fest in NY City...Everyone should still go to the Stafford and Johnconnor show to check out the great bands playing...And for anyone who wants to see us play in NY for the first time come check out our shows page for more information...Thanks,

You say that you want respect well you better get some for yourself

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 01:21:03 GMT

Well school starts tomorow...sucks...whatever, had to update cuz i was bored, i love jackie shes sexy, we have cool icons...Other shit blah blah blah...None of your buisness...

Lady in a blue dress xx

Something lurks creeps on the counter top somewere behind you...

Tue, 07 Sep 2004 03:25:26 GMT

Wooo Tonight was okay? We relived the old memories by going to Curtis effin Wright,Well it was fun and all but it changed so much since we made it our home so many Months ago...Its so horrible now, yuck then we went to Burger King, then we came back and hung With John John adn his cousin We did that till about 830 then We went to my house and johns cousin left and then at 9 John and chris left so it was just me brielle and John and it was a good good time we were trhowing balls at each other and stuff and having mucho fun or at least I was im probobly theo nly one...well im talking to someone now bye bye

Oh Dear God I dont see the light...

Mon, 06 Sep 2004 15:12:07 GMT

Well Last nights was one of those nights that nothing could be wrong about it, it was totally kick ass the best night of the summer...If everyone wants to see what Im talking about Just go look at the Wood-Ridge Library Today...Youll see Soon what 13 young juviniles can do in under like 3 minutes...Funny Funny Shit let me tell you that much...Well ahhh I have to tell the story cuz it was just to funny and if you people dont get a chance to look at the library well then youll have missed it...

It started out with 8 Young kids ( TJ, John , John , Chris, Jimmy, Sean , Brian, Colin ) they got pizza from Dominoes and 2 seconds after it got out of the oven John P, Threw a peice of steaming hot burning pizza on Jonn C's face cuz he tried to steal it from him so John C got his shirt ruined and his face burnt from the pizza (yes he has a burn) and so alittle later after the chasing was doen chris E and John P got into the car wiht these older girls who we dont know and they rode away...BUT John P left his skateboard...PERFECT chance to get back at John for throwing the pizza...so the 6 that remain steal the board and hide out in the top parkinglot of the bank with the cruel intentions of shitting (yes taking a nice big load) onto Johns board...somehow they found us and put a stop to it so then we were gunna shit on his shirt and call it even but in the middle of our argument who should come up to us but Jon B Mike Focarino James so we got the idea in our heads lets target the Library, we can do it, So as the night went on more and more talk of "Forking" the library went on and soon we found Jeremy Buscema and Max M. (jons little brother and his friend) so we recruited them and we realized We could do this in under 3 minutes...Sooooooo...We go to CVS to get like 200 more forks cuz we could only find 300 and we wanted 500 so we realized CVS was closed cuz it was 10 so we realized the time had come to act so we ran with our 300 forks to the site of the library and we shoved them in the ground, yes we shoved them in the ground, This may sound stupid but its illegal! Yes Illegal, so We each grabbed about 40 forks and shoved them in the ground but we kept getting intereupted by what we thought was cops, so when we were finally finished we get out of there only to find that Chris and John P ran the other way...Bad Move, they got chased by the po po and then me Jon B John C and James went to get victory slurpees, and we get a call from chris e saying hes hiding in a bush and he got seperated from john funny funny shit so we decided to get out of hackensack street and go onto the boully (blvd) so we did and then we went back like 20 minutes later to fix all the forks and take pictures of it...so check out the Mr. 300 site comming soong

WOW this is my longest entry every, I know things you dont know hehe hehe

Ive Parted three ways...for you the newo that i love

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 02:02:33 GMT

Well I couldnt update this shit cuz I lost my password and so yeah We are done recording our Demo it should be out before the show on the 10th with the Rookie and some shit bands...Eveeryone shoudl come cuz the Rookie is gunna be there...Woo I love Coheed, and Im tired...

Dear Ambellina The prise wishes you to watch over me...

Well I was grounded today but other than that I had a good day I learned like 100 coheed songs on guitar...

Yupp yupp theres nothing to write in this anymore...Me John and John came to the conclusion that we are offical loosers of Wood-Ridge cuz we were out last night and like No one was talking to us and everyone was kind of giving us bad looks but lol wahtever we had fun by ourselves on the "new boulevard" Hackensack street. and then we hung out with brielle nad coleen

Cross my heart and lie to me..

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 03:33:36 GMT

Well Tonight was okay, We went to the mall again and I got my skateboard stolen haha Im the most irresponisble son of a bitch ever but lucky i make alot of money so i can get a new one by tomorow :-D...Im tired but I dont want to sleep I want to skate right now but its like 12 oclock oh well that sucks for me...hehehe Well Gabes comming down again when school starts its gunna feel weird skating with him cuz hes so much better then me and yeah but its still always so fun cuz he helps me get better...lol whatever no one reads this anyway bye bye

My knuckles have turned to white, theres no turning back tonight...

Thu, 26 Aug 2004 02:47:23 GMT

Well Idk I couldn't stop writning in my Livejournal so Idk I guess ill just start again...idk we went to the mall tonight and hung out iwth Brielle, Jess, Meg, Danny, Chris, John and idk we just walked around alot and now im tired...Ive been skating so much everyday out side my house now i guess it helps get me a little better I can ollie a bit higher and do stupid other stuff but yeah who cares right? I got grounded from online and im only allowed on 1 hour each night till school starts so i wont be updating as much...umm yeah thats it, bye

I can see the headlights comming

Sat, 31 Jul 2004 22:17:25 GMT

Wow...I havent updated this shit in forever...It had to be at least like 2 weeks haha, oh well Alot of shits been going on and I dont wanna deal with half of it, The whole shaina situation is driving me crazy I am going to totally give up on it cuz everyones just pushing me to do stupid shit I dont wanna do and its pissing me off, and im screwing it up lol...
AND WE GOT A DEMO IN THE WORKS...the Mixing is almost done then it will be yours for a viewing pleasure of 3 dollars, yeah it has 6 songs, we just added an extra one so when the mixing is all done we should have a pretty solid cd. LOL it seems that the new thing for people to do is leave mean comments on my journal so im gunna talk to brielleizle and shes gunna think of some crazy livejournal way to stop this all...fuck you all i hate most of you and you should mostly all die, :-D Stevi is sexy and she stole her parents beer cuz shes a badass <3...Im going to my uncles party bye

I'll Stare at the sun, until i understand or go blind

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 03:23:22 GMT

I feel like crap tonight, my night is not going good but whatever, the show was great i dont even remeber if i updated since then, I dont really even care...I hate how my lifes become, its gay it sucks its simple...Its boring and i dont fucking like it, I wasnt having a good night tonight but Stevi Made me all happy by putting me on her away message cuz like its great that she really cares about me, cuz not alot of people really do and i shouldnt be fucking complaining but tough shit if you dont wanna listen to me complain then dont read my fucking journal

ILL STARE STRAIGHT INTO THE SUN AND I WONT CLOSE MY EYES...
ILL STARE STRAIGHT INTO THE SUN UNTIL I UNDERSTAND OR GO BLIND...

</3 BYE

hey! this is brielle. cause im cool.

Fri, 09 Jul 2004 15:30:59 GMT

Hey guys. This is Brielle. what's up with everyone making me update their journal lately? pssh. hah, nah it's cool. okay well. here's some news for you.

date-Saturday, Jule 10th
time-6:30 PM
price-$5
bandsFarewell To Cadence, Countdown To Dawn, Paris, The Medic, Point View, Growfonder

It's going to be a great great show and you all better be there or i'll come murder you. <3
[support farewell to cadence bitches!]

So Tj told me to put stuff about my life in here so uhhmm. here I go.

I haven't barely gotten any sleep in about 4 days, don't know why though. I'm actually really tired yet i'm up right now, writing in Tj's journal. and about to shower to go over there. wow. uhh. my life, my life. sucks? yeahhhh that's basically it. It sucks.
I don't really know much more to write in here...

At 230ish this morning I made myself peanut butter and jelly. it was pretty good. then I just went back and watched NFG on Fuse for a half hour. Then I shut the TV off and just kind of laid there and watched the clock. It seemed like it was dragging on forever.......which it basically was.

i'm going over Tj's today with Shannon, Holly, Laura and Ben. Idk who's going to be there. probably the usual people [chris chris dan john and john] and maybe meg. who knows. she's cool.

well i'm gonna go now. this was fun..

<3

Ehhhh....

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 02:39:38 GMT

Well im updating again, idk why no one reads this shit anyway...Alex Boniello is cool...lol whatever...I still havent talked to Brielle, I miss her shes been back 2 days now and I havent talked to her once...Me and Chris E Went to Spiderman 2 last night it was a good movie...but it had one of those sad story line thingies I hate it when that happens. but it was really good...then today i got a heart moniter cuz theres something wrong with my heart and i have to wear it for 24 hours and i had to skip my work cuz i had it on...its crazy we had practice today and made up a new song and then dans girlfriend and jess came over and we saw jess sing...shes really good at singing lol but i told her she sung like avril so shed get mad

I miss Brielle :-(

Sat, 03 Jul 2004 02:55:32 GMT

I miss Brielle...I didnt really get to say goodbye to her and when she called to say goodbye I didnt really talk to her cuz chris was there...:-( oh well, whatever I feel like poopie but no one cares so whatever...we got our show soon and im going to get my bass fixed tomorow yay...hopefully they can fix it, if they cant im screwed...Christina is driving us crazy and i bet were driving her crazy and the guy for the free pa and stuff still hasnt called me back so that makes me worry, whatever im going...bye

So You say that I am Rated x, You suffer from the lack of sex

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 03:17:20 GMT

Well I havent updated this shit in a while probobly like a week cuz I have had Chris and Gabe over...skating with Gabe was amazing he pushes me alot and I got over my fear of the whole bank incident...i dont feel like explaining it, if you were at that dance that night you probobly know cuz I was like bleeding from the head and shit but if you werent just comment and ill tell you...so Chris G is still here but hes now staying over Chris E's house till saturday and we have a show next saturday not this one next one everyone should go...but no one probobly will and i gotta sell all these tickets, we got our pa for free thats cool cuz like Dannys girlfriends mom works for Peavey and so they give us free shit...I miss my old friends like Jackie and Kristen, they were awesome I had way to many funny times with them...then we kinda just stopped talking but im glad ill probobly get to see Jackie at our show cuz she still wants to hang out sometime...shes a cool one. My fucking Bass broke, yes my 1,360 dollar piece of shit broke...GRRR im getting it fixed this saturday and hopefully its in time for the show I miss it so fucking much its like my god damn baby it hurts so much to have to play a fucking 100 dollar piece of shit when you get spoiled used to a bass that coast like 10 times that lol whatever...this iso ne of my longer entries woo hoo... we made up a couple of songs this weekend or so however long chris is here for weve made up a couple but we only have 4 now for the show cuz we deleted all our other ones and we started over but im happy with what we have... I also started my life guard job, its pretty fun, not to hard yet ::knocks on wood:: i get paid so much for it...more then a mexi chris says lol...bye im done </3

Im not going to look back...

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 02:34:48 GMT

Well...Today was okay, I brought Turkey and Cheese sandwhiches to CCD Thing I had to run today and me, Jimmy McCgahn, and Someo ther kid ate them...it was fun...we have an easy job and get let out early...<3 for us...Then the day was cool cuz me John and Chris skated around Moonachie and brielle was a biotch and wouldnt let us in her house and her half blind killer pooch chased us in the backyard...Then we skated to Berry Creek...and had some food...but whatever, then we had some band practice after all the more skating and swimming and then we went out skating and i got cut on the hand on something and i landed a little gap but i didnt land this 4 foot gap thing and my friends totally crushed my confidence by telling me i sucked...etc etc...well i dont even know if i wanna skate when gabes around now cuz hell probobly make fun of me too...whatever im gunna give up skating probobly cuz i suck... :-( bye

In trying so hard to look away from you...

Mon, 21 Jun 2004 02:54:42 GMT

Wowsers...its been ages, but Im Back and ready for more action! vacation was pretty great and i dont know how lucky i have it...10 days in florida all paid for by my aunt...it couldnt get any better then that...well it was a pretty great trip and i got a skateboard out of all of it and i got some fun times and ALOT of sunburn...I dont wanna give a day by day recreation of the trip cuz id bore your asses to death but it was pretty rad...me and gabe made solid plans to hang real soon within two weeks or so and this summer should really be awesme i cant wait for it to fully start...

I got to go to my heart doctor tomrorow cuz i have a check up then i need blood taken for the heart doctor...why does everyrthing have to go wrong to my poor heart lol... oh well...Vacations over...I forgot all our bands songs cuz i havent practiced in 10 days but i leraned Understanding in a car crash by thursday today like 10 minutes ago its a kick ass song...im pretty happy now that summer is here...but it sucks cuz i still ahve responsibility i have to do ccd for like a week or so to get community service and then i have my lifeguard job so i really cant slack off at that lol...but MONEY is good so ya know...its all good woop woop I love Stevi and brielle there the two best girlfriends ( friends that are girls) that you could ask for...Going now bye

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 21:04:41 GMT

So its official...Stevi owes me 50 cents...she called herself ugly and omg she isnt so yeah ::smack:: she deserves it. Idk what im doing right now all i know is some shit just feel the fuck apart...Whatever I lost my one really good friend I could tell shit to and it just dawned on me now that it feels like crap...Im so sorry brielle, Idk what to say I was deffintly a dickhead to you I shouldnt have done half the shit I did do and im so so sorry for that...whatever.

I really cant care anymore about anyone or anything...
Cuz shit happened last night with other people and idk im confused as hell so idk what im gunna do...

I tried to hang with keri last night but i spent most of my time with kara and her boyfriend there awesome lol cuz the rest of the people were assholes and keri was talking to this other guy the whole time so whatever...then i met up with my friends again and then we left them and me dan and kara and her boyfriend hung in the petstore and it was good then kb toys then i left and i saw Chloe! and when we went outside me and chloe chilled and i told her some stuff and whatever and i got her leash back for her it was okay...at least the last part was...then me dan and john bonded while chris made out with his girlfriend and we had some talk time and i decided some shit and whatever and i gotta turn my life around...
--------------------------------------------------------------
Hey there,
I know it's hard
to feel like I don't care at all
Where you are
and how you feel
with these lights off
As these wheels keep rolling
on and on (and on and on)

Slow things down or speed them up
Not enough or way too much
how are you when I'm gone

And I can't make it on my own
because my heart is in Ohio
so cut my wrists and black my eyes
so I can fall asleep tonight
or die because you kill me
You know you do you kill me well
you like it too and I can tell
you'll never stop
until my final breath is gone

Spare me just three last words
I love you is all she heard
I'll wait for you but I can't wait forever

IM SO SORRY BRIELLE I KNOW THIS DOESNT MAKE UP FOR ANY OF THE STUFF I DID BUT I CANT HELP BUT SAYING IM SO SORRY FOR ALL OF THIS I REALLY AM SO SORRY AND I PROMISE IF WE EVER TALK AGAIN THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT</3

Id Like for you to feel this, Id love for you to cry tears of fire...

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 21:03:26 GMT

Well, Today was okay...so far...I didn't get to talk to Keri yet...I grown so attached to her idk what id do if she started to not like me anymore :-(...Well Today I went shopping for Florida and Wood-Ward Clothes. I got a whole bunch of new shit and spent a whole lotta money, I got some cool shirts and a new pair of jeans and a bucnh of shorts i wont wear outside florida or PA...It sucks that me and Little Gabriel (Gabe) wont be going to wood-ward the same week...Im going like week 12 hes going week 6 or something so that kinda sucks but Ill still have fun...if I ever start to skate again. Im so bored I guess I found out who my true friends are, the only people I can rellay talk to about stuff, Stevi (oh my she got pretty) and Keri (love for keri) weehee wow im so bored...im trying to figure out the Lyrics to Justin Costa by Stafford cuz im to lazy to IM EriK and ask him them, hehe..but still the best song on that EP is number 7, deffintly Angelic Muse (acoustic!) he sings so good for it its rediculous, it makes my balls tingle...I got a booboo on my fucking thumb and i cant play bass or it really hurts all thanks to john lol he threw a basketball at my head and i put my hand up to stop it and then the ball hit it in some demeted way so now its black nad blue under the nail and it hurts like a bitch but i still love john anyway...Oh and Chris G and John made up from their recent fighting adventure so now they wont hate each other anymore...so thats pretty rad.

All in all id like to say...

actually i have nothing to say thats just a line from If your weapons could speak by staffod <3 best band <3 besides mine of course lol not whatever idk why i wrote this much , wooo Me and Brielle are fighting...whatever if shes not gunna care im not gunna care so yeah whatever when she decides to not be a bitch ill talk to her again but idk though cuz I garentee she just says she accepts my appology like a day before gabe comes so she can see him but if that happens i wont be so dumb...w/e oh yeah i forgot to say that gabe was comming down, him and chris there gunan be allowed to stay for like weeks at a time at my house during the summer...its gunna be such a kick ass summer... woop woop!<3

<3 TJ

said fuck it Im fine...Dined and dashed...The pianist pedaled into the morning

Mon, 24 May 2004 00:42:38 GMT

It sucks to see a good friends life getting ruined...or at least someone you thought was a pretty damn good friend...even if they dont know they ruin it...i dont feel good now...i feel tired and jaded...night...

Said Fuck it im fine...

Quiz I got from Keri

Sun, 16 May 2004 22:17:00 GMT

Part1 -- Basics
Name: TJ
Age: 15
Age you act: It Depends sometimes I act like im 12 again when Im with Chris but mostly I just dont act and I just sit there in the corner
Birthplace: SHACKENSACK (nobody will understand this one that reads my journal its an inside joke)
Current location: Wood-Rige
Zodiac sign: how am i suppoused to know
Righty or lefty: righty
Number of siblings: none
Are your parents still together?: Yes

Who do you live with?: my mom and dad and gay sister
Have any pets?: none:-(
Part 2 -- Appearance
Height: 5'8ish
Weight: To Much
Shoe size: 11
Hair colour: dark brown
Hair length: pretty short
Eye colour: Blue
Glasses/contacts?: yupp but i dont wear them
Piercings: Nah
Tattoos: none
Scars: alot lol
Braces: used to
Part 3 -- Favorites
Colour: white, black,pink
Number: 12145457457880697-
Book: I dont read no more
Movie: The Girl Next door? idk thats the last one i saw
Actor: Me
Actress: Me
TV show: don't really watch much tv
Video game: Tony Hawk
Store: Idk ive been to every store in the mall
Animal: cats
Season: Fall or winter
Cereal: Reeses puffs
Website: www.geocities.com/deadenddrivenj
Cartoon/character: IDK
Food: Anything cuz im a fat bassist
Flower: Roses
Scent: The Smell of rain when it comes down
Restaurant: Eating at a resturaunt is gay
Candy: idk im fat ill eat it all
Quote: idk
Part 4 -- Music
Favorite genre: emo!
Least favorite genre: metal
Favorite band/singer/artist: Matchbook Romance/Brand New/Taking Back Sunday/Yeah
Favorite song: God Idk
How many CDs do you have?: many.. but never enough
Last CD you bought: I do the whole pirate cd thing i dont buy them
What are you currently listening to, or last listened to?: The Used
Do you download music?: yes
Do you play an instrument?: yeah
If so, what one(s)?: Bass
Part 5 -- Love and Relationships
Straight/gay/bi?: straight
In a relationship?: nope...Im kinda contemplating it though maybe...we'll see if she really likes me
If so, who and how long?: n/a
If not, how long have you been single?: Since Fucking Summer...God I hate
Crush?: Keri :-D
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yupp
What do you look for in a guy/girl?: Nice, Pretty, Talkative cuz sometimes i can be shy
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: eyes, hair etc
What hair colour do you like?: Brown black (if there pretty) or dirty brown idk i dont really care
Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?: Not been loved at all
Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: same age or older
Do you believe in fate?: yes
What about soul mates?: sure
Still a virgin?: yea
If not, how old were you?: n/a
Are you into casual sex?: Not casual sex but doing stuff with other people while your not going out sometimes numbs the pain
Part 6 -- Have you ever...
Snuck out of the house?: Yea
Snuck a guy/girl into your room?: No lol they just walk through the basment
Been out of the country you reside in?: No
Been arrested?: Lol oh god...the crap tapes!...almost...
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: Yea
Been betrayed?: yeah
Had a dream that came true?: No
Gone to school only to find out you had the day off?: No but Judy Yoo did
Gone skinny dipping?: Yea
Gotten the chicken pox?: No
Part 7 - When was the last time you...
Brushed your teeth?: Today
Went to the bathroom?: Five seconds ago
Watched a movie?: Like last month
Saw a movie in theatres?: Like Last Month
Read a book?: God Idk
Made fun of someone?: I try not to make fun of people cuz i know how it feels but if i was to make fun of someone itd be dan for his dumb comments
Got sick?: Today
Cursed?: Today
Got into a fight/argument?: Often...with my so called "friends"
Went to a concert?: a week or so ago
Asked a friend for relationship advice?: Hmm...Two days ago
Part 8 -- This or That
Pepsi/Coke: neither
McDonalds/Burger King: KFC
Chocolate/vanilla: Vanilla
Adidas/Nike: WooHoo! Jordans (umm no...idk?)
Burgers/hot dogs: Hot Dogs
Fruits/vegetables: Ehh Idk
Lights on/lights off: light off
TV/movies: Movies with people
Pillows/blankets: both
Summer/winter: winter
Snow/rain: rain
Meat/vegetables: Meat
Cake/pie: ice cream
Love/lust: Love...but Lust isnt bad when your not in love
Outdoors/indoors: indoors
Blonde/brunette: whatever
Ocean/swimming pool: Beach...cuz crazy stuff happens there
Hugs/kisses: both
Wallet/pocket: pocket
Cat/dog: cat
Long sleeves/short sleeves: hmm depends
Pants/shorts: pants
Doughnuts/bagels: bagels
Day/night: night
Make love/have sex: sex
Part 9 -- Do you...
Believe in yourself?: not really
Want to go to college?: yeah sorta
Want to get married?: Idk
Want to have children?: Why not a boy so i can be awesome and like do bad stuff with him like ringing and running
If so, how many?: 1 maybe
Believe in aliens?: why not
Think you're good looking?: no
Plan on moving anywhere in the near future?: hopefully not
If so, when, where?: No were
Get along with your parents?: ehhh
Get along with your siblings?: no lol
Sing in the shower?: in my head
Have any secrets?: yeah
Regret doing/not doing anything in life?: Not being like I used to be...I wish i could be...i was so much more fun then
Part 10 -- What is your opinion on...
Reality TV?: If its Real TV ive seen every episode
Eminem?: die?
Religion?: i dont get involved
Valentine's Day?: depressing
Interracial relationships?: Why not
Abortion?: Adoption
Obesity?: um yeah dont make fun of me
Death penalty?: depends
Prostitution?: okay why not
Marijuana?: no
Other drugs?: no
Alcohol?: Sure
Illegal immigrants?: I know one personally
Drunk driving?: stupid
Cloning?: no
Premarital sex?: sure
The war in Iraq?: gross
George Bush?: gay
The legal drinking age?: whatever
Pornography?: sure
Suicide?: ehhhh no
Love?: sucks
Part 11 -- Randomness
What colour is your tooth brush?: white and blue
What's on your desktop?: My band
Your first thought when you wake up: Keri and What im gunna eat cuz im usually hungry and how i can be like i used to
Your greatest accomplishment: bass maybe even though i suck
Something you want to do: Get somewere with my band nad get a real girlfriend....get a real life...be more like i used to be...
What size bed do you have?: small ass shit
What do you normally sleep in?: a t shirt
Do you dream a lot?: sometimes
What was your last dream/nightmare?: no idea
Would you ever sky dive?: Last year i would have killed to...but now im differnet idk
Are you talking to anyone right now?: Yeah, Chris G
When was the last time you cried?: I try not to...and why should I tell you...I do though
What is one thing that annoys you most?: Girls
Name three things you "can't live without": music, guitar, Brielle and Keri cuz there like the only ones that are really nice to me
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Ive said it a million times...I wish I was more like i used to be
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yeah
What do you like the most about your body?: Nothing
And the least?: everything
The last time you talked on the phone: Rarley
What did you last eat?: Ice cream
Use 3 words to describe how you're feeling: sad, annoyed, blaah
What day is it?: sunday
What time is it?: 6:14

Broken windows open locks...reminders of the Youth we lost...In trying so hard to look away from you

Sun, 16 May 2004 03:21:00 GMT

Well Today I went to Jessie's party...It was pretty fun except the band that played there sucked...But it was fun regardless...even though I dont feel Good...I feel Depressed sorta today...like really bad and I need to talk to someone but my beauty isnt around and no one else really cares besides her...Nothing Else to say...

I dont want to feel this way forever
A dead letter marked retern to sender
Broken watch you gave me turns into a compass
its two hands still point to the same time...12:03 our last goodbye

So Push the seats back alittle further i can see the headlights comming...
So Push the seats back alittle further i can see the world in red and broken glass

For Kara but i love keri

Sat, 15 May 2004 03:37:49 GMT

I really like Keri! alot and shes probobly gunan read this but i odnt care cuz i already told her i liked her and im updating this cuz Kara wont leave me alone till i dedicate this journal entry to her...today was fun hung out...tomorow= party...woohoo... this entry is for kara and i love keri

Thu, 13 May 2004 19:16:13 GMT

WOW My moms being a really big bitch right now and I hope she dies...shes being a stupid fucking annoying bastard and i really could care less what happens to her...Die Die Die Die...

And This time...This ones for you...</3

Wed, 12 May 2004 23:16:32 GMT

Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know,
like how to deal with despair, or someone breaking your heart.
For twelve years I've held it all together but a night like this is begging to pull me apart.
I played it quite left you deep in conversation.
I felt uncool and hung out around the kitchen.
I remember I kept thinking that I know you never would,
but now I know I want to kill you like only a best friend could.
-------------------------------------------------------------

I cashed in all my chips tonight and combed my hair till it was just right.
Cause I've been thinking about you and me girl,
and we got something going on.
You told me you can't wait to see me
and then you didn't bother to even show up.
This whole situation is incredibly typical,
I should have seen it all along.
It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off at home on a Saturday night
with all my doors locked up tight.
I won't be thinking about you baby.
You call me on the phone, and you don't even want to talk.
You're staring at me from across the room then turn your back when I walk up.
We got inches away, and I never even got close.
So leave your lipstick at home.
Don't pick up the phone.
Don't bother to look in my direction.
I should have seen it all along.
-------------------------------------------------------------
As if this happening wasn't enough I got to go
and write a song just to remind myself how bad it sucked.
Ignore the sun, the cover's over my head.
I wrote a message on my pillow that says, "Jesse, stay asleep in bed."
So don't apologize. I hope you choke and die.
Search your cell for something with which to hang yourself.
They say you need to pray if you want to go to heaven
but they don't tell you what to say when your whole life has gone to hell.
--------------------------------------------------------------

I LOVE SOMEONE!
</3 THIS TIME ITS FOR YOU...

Wed, 12 May 2004 00:44:28 GMT

Last entry was friends only comment to be added

Everyones caught onto everything you do

Tue, 11 May 2004 00:36:05 GMT

Wow..Just Wow...Today was so accomplished...I found out that Brand New and TBS Hate each other...and for any dummys who now dont know why go listen to Seventy times 7 by Brand New and Theres no I in team by TBS and youll eventually figure it out (ps...Look at the lyrics)so that gave me mental emo kid breakdown knowing that two awesome badns hate each other and brielle told me what her sweater meant...the mics are for singing not swinging one....wow just wow.

Well anyway today was Chris E's birthday we went with him to get a guitar and he got a nice Ephiphone...Then the best part was we went to Chuckie Cheeses...just me chris Dan and His mom...what a great mix, his moms hilarious we were talking about how chris was always on his period...Well anyway for once I dont feel sad, I feel accomplished...but I should Learn a song in honor of all this so anyone tell me a good TBS or Brand New song to learn in honor of them hating each other...Leave me a comment telling me which one to learn, anyway well I have nothing else to say...Im still grounded from band on weekdays but this weekend we'll hopefully practice...Were looking for more shows too so keep checking our other live jouranl for updates, we might play one at Saint Marys with Emma and Aspen it Is...Were not sure yet, we asked to be in so its not like we were invited or anything so we dont know if we deffinitly got a spot but Justin from Emma said hed work on it...<3 to all